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b’sheirt or bashert: (Yiddish: באַשערט)
a Yiddish word that means “destiny”.
It is often used in the context of one’s divinely foreordained spouse or soulmate, who is called “basherte” (female) or “basherter” (male). It can also be used to express the seeming fate or destiny of an auspicious or important event, friendship, or happening.
I almost didn’t sit in this seat.
The plane was packed so I shuffled on expecting to be smashed into a middle seat. You know, the one allllllllll the way in the back against the bathroom wall. The one where the seat doesn’t recline.
Yeah, that one.
Instead, after a last minute glance, I waved down a handsome, salt and pepper gentleman to see if the coveted window seat next to him was empty.
And as he and his lovely Mrs. made way for me, I sat down for what would be the best cross-country flight I’ve had in a very long time.
I love traveling. I travel often.
Seeing the world and meeting it’s people means there’s always something to take away. Something you leave with that you never had before. And hopefully you leave something positive behind.
I crave chance encounters.
This chance encounter included conversation, laughs, reflections, snacks and selfies with a pair that has been married for 10 years.
Judith, a saucy, Jewish New Yorker with the accent to prove it, moved to California 19 years ago (the one place she said she’d never live) with her first husband.
Glen, a kind convert to Judaism, said he knew shortly after meeting Judith that she would be the one he would marry. The one whose daughter, Shoshanah, would help him realize he wanted children after all.
The two met in a Yahoo chat room 14 years ago.
He was about to sign off. She was signing on.
In that space between off and on, Judith read Glen’s handle, sixfootoneeyesofblue.
And with that, babyblueeyes58 messaged him, “Tell me more.”
“More” turned into marriage and marriage into years of love lessons they graciously shared with me….
Read the Ketuba (traditional Jewish marriage contract) and remember what you promised one another in the beginning. When times get tough, remember who you fell in love with.
Don’t stay angry, apologize, move on.
Be nice. Respect one another.
Remember who you are as an individual, who you are in the relationship and who the other person is to you. Most of all, act on that.
Remember relationships are always 100% of you 100% of the time.
Touch. Touching is very important. (they are a very affectionate couple)
Be the little kid that you are. (Knowing the difference between childlike and childish)
It’s the little things… (Glen leaves fresh towels out for Judith every morning before she gets in the shower) (They keep nightly love notes. Each one has a journal where they write musings and gratitude lists about one another. Then they swap journals to read what the other wrote.)
Finally, get a really good therapist.
Thank you Glen. Thank you Judith.
As they say, L’chaim!
Here’s to life, here’s to love, here’s to b’sheirt.